Elwood 5566

Bathhouses are Gay!

I frequently hear or see this comment and consider it the dumbest a westerner could make! Anyone who comes to Korea and doesn’t try a bathhouse is denying themselves an experience rich in its uniqueness and in its ability to afford you a very intimate glimpse of Korean culture. I have probably attended a bathhouse 3 times a week for a period of almost 4 years and in all that time I have only seen 3 western people in bathhouse, 2 adults and a boy. Neither have the numerous westerners I worked with over this period attended one with me. I am no bathhouse guru and there will be foreigners living in Korea far more experienced in this pursuit than I, but turning to my own culture, we certainly have a terrifying fear of nudity.

In UK schools, the practice of showering after sports was phased out around 15-20 years ago. Cutting the heating bill was a good way to save cash even if it meant that students, especially boys, spent the day putrefying in their own sweat. No one seemed to mind especially as showering was only ever enforced when one started puberty and felt uncomfortable being naked. And one common feature of many schools was that boys usually had to undress in front of each other while girls were often, but not always, afforded some privacy.  From my own experiences and conversations with other men, there is an agreement that male changing  rooms are often charged with a bizarre juxtaposition of the erotic and aggressive.  When I last taught in an English High School, around 2003, I had to take several classes of boys preparing for swimming lessons. Each boy was equipped with the most enormous towel  of sufficient proportions to cover a single bed.  I have several female friends who told me stories about convent life where, after sport or swimming, girls were required to shower in, and undress, under large smocks designed to hide their bodies. This was exactly the same except this wasn’t a catholic school! It wasn’t even Church of England. Most of the boys were around thirteen or fourteen and their bodies were still puny but hidden from the neck down, the material enveloped them twice and doubly guaranteed that not the slightest naked thigh, knee or even elbow should be inadvertently exposed. All the boys were skilled at holding secure the neck of their towelling  smock from within its confines, while the remaining free hand, buttocks, hips and knees, shimmied their underwear off and then pulled on their swimming shorts – and this in the reverse order when changing back into uniform. Some boys were unfortunate enough to have restrictive, ordinary size towels and if they slipped or were  insufficient to hide their bodies and they were exposed, not only were they mortified but so too was any boy who happened to glimpse what lay under that towel. Then a string of accusations were spat forth declaring the observed and any unfortunate observers,  ‘gay.’  In Britain, certainly among school boys, to either see another boy’s dick or for yours to be seen, implies homosexuality. This juvenile attitude is similar to the ones levied at Korean bathhouses and seems to be a western attitude rather than one confined to British men. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

if you think bathhouses are ‘gay’ you totally misunderstand Korean social practices

To be honest, in Britain, I too find nudity or even semi nudity uncomfortable. We seem adept at criticizing the bodies of others and many of us, myself included, have been imbued with various attitudes towards the body and nudity. Ironically, I feel more human as a naked,  fat foreigner,  in a Korean bathhouse, than I do wearing shorts in a British swimming pool.  In addition to our internalized assumptions about bodies, we conflate both nudity with sex and same-sex nudity with homosexuality. I am sure that something sexual must  occasionally occur in Korean bathhouses,  probably in specific bathhouses, but I have never witnessed anything of a sexual nature.

My first experience of bathhouse culture was in 2001, when I was visiting Masan with friends. I was asked which three things I’d like to do before leaving Korea. I replied: I wanted to try dog stew, silk worm and go to a bathhouse. My stomach almost hit the floor when my friend smiled and told me we’d probably visit a bathhouse that very afternoon. The whole experience terrified me but I swallowed my pride and went through with it and then, when back in Daegu, I made myself go to other establishments. I still feel a little uneasy entering a bathing complex probably as I have a negative image of my own body but I have never been made to feel uncomfortable. Koreans will all peak at you but once they’ve looked you up and down you blend in with the other clientele. As usual, if you should make eye contact with them while they are peaking, they will instantly look away.

On the streets of Korea the novelty of foreigners is rapidly declining and I find my presence attracts far less attention than it did 10 years ago. I find it boring that my presence on the street is almost non eventful though I would imagine in rural areas we are still  a novelty.  Most establishments, bars, restaurants, shops etc, have learned to accommodated foreigners. In many restaurants, menus  are available in Korean and English but ten years ago you were only likely to find this in fast food restaurants. I can even remember Pohang bus terminal’s arrival and departure board only being in Korean. If you want to experience the Korea relatively unchanged  by the presence of westerners then bathhouses are an ideal location. I am still fascinated by this cultural phenomenon as it has afforded me a far deeper insight into Korean life than probably any other experience. Bathhouses expose not just our bodies but the differences between the Korean and western psyche. Most obvious of course, is the attitude to nudity. I would imagine Korean’s have seen every permutation possible in the human body before they even reach their teens and the traumas our teenagers associate with puberty are minimized in Korea. Also exposed is the level of intimacy that Koreans share not just with their immediate family but with friends and strangers. That horrid male macho-ism that is magnified when western males are in changing rooms or semi naked, a mechanism used to assert masculinity as well as heterosexuality, is absent in a Korean context.  To get naked with your friends doesn’t require mitigating the homosexual implications by playing some aggressive sport beforehand. Koreans can sit close to each other, touch each other and even clean each other without any fears of being misunderstood. The most exposed behaviour though, and one that would shock many westerners, is the intimacy shared between fathers and their sons as well as older men and younger people in general. I doubt there are many westerners who would allow their 10-year-old to go to a bathhouse unaccompanied let alone allow them to have an intimate scrub down by  a bathhouse attendant who may very well be a stranger to that child. This situation was highlighted several years ago when a youth taekwondo team visiting from the UK was put in a very awkward position when their hosts took the British kids and instructors to  a bathhouse.  How do you explain to Koreans that in your culture, this activity would be illegal and that  children and adults naked together, even if immediate family, is treated with great suspicion and constitutes one enormous taboo.

Cooling off

The most interesting aspect of a bathhouse experience is that it not only exposes Korean culture to the foreign observer, but also exposes you  to the nature of your own culture and encourages you to reflect on many taken for granted assumptions and practices. Using bathhouses has given me a deeper insight into both Korean and British culture.  On my return to Korea after a holiday, my first task is to take myself into a bathhouse.  I have come to perceive communal bathing  and the intimacy  practiced around it as natural and certainly healthy, both physically and mentally and concurrently, I have come to realise the  unhealthy nature of western attitudes where natural human relationships have been moralised if not perversified. To deem bathhouses ‘gay’ is a moral statement in that it suggests ‘not natural,’ ‘wrong’ and ‘unhealthy.’ In the UK, we have already embarked on a brave new future where the most innocent of associations with a minor is suspect and where even the most checked, verified and scrutinized professionals have to be permanently policed.  In Britain, I do not think we are too distant from a future where any form of communication with a minor, outside that of the  family and school, will be classified as a potential crime and sufficient to call the police.

Creative Commons License

© 林東哲 2010 Creative Commons Licence.

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6 Responses

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  1. Chris Backe (AKA Chris in South Korea) said, on March 29, 2010 at 3:51 am

    I’ve been here for over 2 years and find myself in a bathhouse / jimjilbang fairly frequently. While foreigners are rare, they tend to be found in the largest / most well-known areas, or on the weekends when they’re typically free. I’ve never heard bathhouses called ‘gay’, although to be fair I’ve only heard foreigners talking about them a handful of times. Most of those times, they admitted to not knowing much due to lack of experience (come on!) or simply being unaware of what they were. I submit that the public bath is a bit like eating kimchi – you don’t think you’re going to like it at first, but you’re either encouraged to try it or you take a leap of faith. Isn’t that what being an expat is all about?

    • Nick Elwood said, on March 30, 2010 at 4:13 am

      Chris, unfortunately, I have heard numerous people make assumptions about bathouses but I am glad not everyone has had this experience. Although I was apprehensive about chatting to the westerner I saw in the bathhouse I use, it would have been a great opportunity to compare experiences but unfortunately he vanished rather quickly and this may may have been because he was uncomfortable in the presence of another westerner. I admit, I have no problem bumping into Korean friends or even students in a bathhouse, but am somewhat nervous of meeting westerners maybe because I am aware of the way they perceive other bodies. As I have never been able to discuss this with others I don’t know whether my reactions are unique to me or culturally induced.

  2. kissmykimchi said, on March 30, 2010 at 5:20 am

    This post hit it on the head exactly. The cultural gap is just so vast when it comes to nudity. It really is a shame because the Koreans seem to have such healthier attitude toward it.

    I still haven’t worked up the nerve to go to a bathhouse. And the thought of doing so with friends let alone family is just way too out there for me to even imagine.

    Stil, on my own, I’m sure I’ll get to one someday soon. Its tough to hear about how relaxing and enjoyable the experience is for such little cost and not go at least once.

  3. Nick Elwood said, on March 30, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    You really shouldn’t leave a visit to the bathhouses until the last minute because you may find you enjoy the experience so much you’ll regret not having visited earlier. If you can muster the nerve to make a visit, choose a 24 hour bathhouse/jjimjilbang and go early on a weekday morning. At this time they’re fairly quiet. Of course, if you visit one in the middle of Seoul they may be a lot busier but in Daegu, outside the actually city center, I usually find them quite quiet. If the place closes, I also find a quiet time to go is 2 hours or so before closing time – especially on a Sunday.

    I intend writing an entry on the sort of things you can expect when you visit – by this I mean the worst bit – rather like running the gauntlet – which is from the point of entry into the complex to getting naked and then making that dreaded journey into the bathhouse itself. Go for it! ‘Hwaiting!’

  4. sonnie said, on March 12, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    Whilst I agree totally with the reference to the neuroses of the western male towards the naked form, I disagree with the statement about schoolboys in England. I was at school in the 1960’s and 70’s, and we were expected to shower from the health aspect. Also there wasn’t an extreme abundance of towelling,and an encouragement to be more tolerant to public changing as it was about cleanliness not sexual contact.Yes on the whole most boys were shy and careful about over exposure, but wrapping yourself in a towel to change was not the norm. We also had only male sports showers, which means a corridor of shower heads where you were expected to wash properly.

    • 努江虎-노강호 said, on March 13, 2012 at 2:29 am

      Thanks for you’re comments. My remarks about showers in British schools is based on fairly current experience in numerous schools in which I’ve taught. In the late 70’s, early 80’s, most British schools phased out showering as a means of saving money. Indeed, I have not taught in one British school (and I’ve taught in over 10), where showers were used. I’ve never taken one PE cover lesson where boys had to shower. The experience I did have, and to which I refer, was probably from around 2003, and prior to a swimming class – and as you know, very few schools have swimming pools. In today’s schools in the UK, there are probably no times when students have to be naked in front of each other and even most swimming pools have replaced communal changing rooms with private ones. As a result of this and other ideological changes, young people are often very uncomfortable with communal nudity.

      Though communal changing might appear to be about practicality and cleanliness, nudity in a British and possibly wider, Western context is always conflated with sex, the two are inseparable. For example, currently, when teachers are taking any activity where undressing is required, or showering, teachers must not be in the same ‘room’ as students. Western teachers in Korea often have a great problem going to bathhouses with students or where their students might be for one reason only – seeing a naked body is a sexual experience – even if you are heterosexual and ‘sex’ the furthest thing from your mind. Unfortunately, in much of the West, to be naked in front of a minor attracts great suspicion even if the circumstances are ‘innocent’ – Sally Mann the photographer, who photographed her children naked – is a case in hand. I put ‘innocent’ in inverted commas because nudity in the UK is never innocent, perhaps it hasn’t been for a very long time. In Britain, when it involves minors (and the term minor can now be stretched to include university age students) nudity, proximity, contact, affection, smiling at, photographing (even when clothed) etc, are deemed potentially sexual and even if this is the furthest thought from your mind, you can guarantee that it will cross the mind of others and it certainly crosses the mind of the youngsters in whose ‘protection’ such ‘reforms’ have been drafted.

      By the way, my experience as a student, were also from the late 60’s seventies. Thanks.


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