Elwood 5566

Bogland

I’m tracking if any of my friends bother to read my blogs or indeed, if I actually have any friends. I recently uploaded one of those tagging widgets to my page which you can see at the bottom of my side bar. Every time someone visits my blog their country of origin is denoted by a flag. Every morning, before I even get out of bed, I turn on the computer and see if I have any new flags.  Then I sit and browse through a number of K-blogs with my coffee. I really need a stiff drink, except I don’t drink, because there is definitely some shite lurking in Bogland. Sometimes, the shit is so bad it is can actually be useful. I am trying to learn Korean, I have been for years and so any sites which can improve my skills are of particular interest. Ten years ago you couldn’t even buy a decent book to help you learn Korean and there was nothing online. Now we are spoilt  for choice. I subscribe to one website and to augment my learning visit a number of blogs and in particular those which function both as a diary and provide a Korean lesson.

This post is dedicated to all those twats who write blogs peppered with Korean words to which there is no given translation as if their audience, and more specifically, their mates back home, can actually speak and read Korean. Back in 2000, if you wanted to write with an east Asian script on your PC, if you had one, you had to buy Microsoft’s, Proofing Tools and online translators were basic in the least. A dictionary was essential except they were difficult to buy (in the UK) and very basic. The simplest way to impress your mates back  home and give yourself Malinowskian credentials is to look-up a Korean word, eg, ‘train,’ stick it in Babblefish or some other translator, and then paste it into your text.  ‘I got the 기차 to 대구 last 토요일,’ type blogs, are excellent for testing your knowledge of basic Korean words.

Then there are the copious reviews on restaurants and coffee shops. Anyone who has lived in Korea more than a few months should know that unless a corporate or franchise affair, the coffee shop or restaurant raved about today stands a very good chance of being a hand-phone shop in a few months time and a bakery within six. And then there are the blogs written as though Korea were some isolated little backwater, by authors who seem to think they’re Malinowski, except they’re a hundred years too late and tend to be uninspired by the mundane  and oblivious to the unique. Of course, there is a wealth of insights to share with western audiences except most  have been covered by a hundred other authors but there remain many ‘issues’ out there with hardly anything in print to highlight them. So, here is an example of a really naff style of blog writing:

Hello! 한국 is such a bizarre country. I have been in the Land of the Morning Clam’  for 6 months and am still having fun. Life in my 학권, ‘Venus English Phrontesterion,’  is really good except my bosses,  씻인석 시  and  식인숩 시, insist I speak without  a 미국 accent. I have difficulty telling them 미국 사람 don’t have accents. Only 외국인 사람 speak with an accent!

Downtown Daegu

As you can see, I can now speak and write in 하국어. Are you impressed? Yesterday. This one is red inside. Later, we 팔 김밥 . This  is a pancake  parcel with a filling. It is served with a watery soup called 코물. 마니 마시티!

More next time!

석미왕 프럼 왕주.

Oh, my flag tagger! Very colourfully informs me I have had two visitors from the UK, where the majority of my friends and family live, and 5 from Russia where I know no one. Even if I wanted to, it seems I have no one to impress!

This work is licenced under a Creative Commons Licence.