Elwood 5566

Exposing Those Seedy Searches

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized by 노강호 on June 28, 2011

There are plenty of degenerates trawling around the internet looking for ‘interesting’ tid-bits. Sometimes I’m one of them but I’m not degenerate, my interests are cultural and academic – honestly!  The great thing about WordPress, is the access to  a large amount of statistical data and this was certainly absent from Blogger a few years ago and which prompted  me to switch platforms. Every now and then I look at the ‘search terms’ people have used to access Bathhouse Ballads and it’s depressing; because I’ve written about ‘girls knickers’, ‘penises‘, ‘skinship,’ ‘circumcision,’ ‘corporal punishment,’ ‘showering,’ ‘shitting,‘pissing,’teenagers,’plus the mention of ‘sex,’ ‘gays,’ and lots of stuff on ‘bathhouses,’ many search terms are from those looking for something seedy. And all mixed together, the permutations are extensive, I’m attracting some weird searches.

Here are my favourites:

Chillies on his willy – rather a bizarre search term but why not go the whole hog with chillies that look like willies.

click photo for link to relevant post

Boys stripped to the waist – clearly a frustrated waeg! Go to the bathhouse and you can see them naked! Actually, better still, have a wank!

Girl’s Knickers – interestingly, the only word I don’t think I’ve ever written in this blog is, ‘vagina.’ So, girl’s knickers? Like used, unused, soiled? And by ‘knickers’ I guess you mean the shapeless baggy things as opposed panties or the Devil’s Panty – ie a thong.

Dirty Gays – now is this an opinion or do you mean gay people with dirty hands?

Bathhouse Ballards – I actually have 16 entries with this spelling.

Boy flesh – Look at Jay Park and have a wank!

Bathhouse squirt – another bizarre entry. Is this a small person or does it refer to some strange practice?

Little kids nude skinship – you can find all you need under 변태 성욕.

Jimjjilbang Penis – well, you’d be much better searching for this in Korean rather than badly spelt English (jjimjilbang).

Korean kid saw me poop – please tell me it didn’t arouse you? Actually, I used to know a boy who used to invite you into his house to watch him shite? He was very sexy but watching someone crap is not just a freaking turn off, but puts you off your food!

Little man cok poto – clearly from a Korean which is ‘pine.’

cute yes, but sexy, no!

And my favourite…

Water forced up arse in spa – yes, you need to take a trip to Wonderful Spa Land, Wolbae in Daegu. They have an amazing set of massage stations one of which you sit over and it lifts you up. If you hold onto the sides and pull yourself down you can manipulate the jet to provide a very intimate probing. My Korean friend and I had quite a laugh doing this and the interesting thing was, that he had never previously thought to pull himself down onto it. Mind you, he’s getting regular sex so he’s clearly satisfied. Wonderful Spaland also has 4 excellent chest massage water jets but you’d have to mount these or bend over in front of them, which might attractive some attention. These will certainly provide a deep aqua invasion and you’ll probably need to expel your intake on the toilet immediately after. Good luck!

Interestingly, Hieronymus Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights, is a popular search term especially considering this painting depicts all forms of human vice and ‘perversion.’

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© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.

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Haircut and Hand Job

Posted in Bathhouse, bathhouse and jjimjilbang culture, services and facilities by 노강호 on April 2, 2011

haircut 'n shave

I’ve only once had a haircut in one of the jjimjilbang I use and it was a guy who cut my hair. For several years I’ve seen him hanging about his shop or chatting to the adjacent shoe-shine man. Recently however, I’ve seen a little line of women sat on the sofa in the barber’s shop while the barber seems to have disappeared.  A neon sign over the door announces a shave, hair cut and massage for the price of  30.000 Won (£15). There was something about those women that struck me as odd but being naive in such matters, I ignored it.

 

haircut'n wank?

Then, last week two different Korean friends tell me that the jjimjilbang, in effect the mogyoktang, now provides an extra service, namely a wank which apparently comes after your haircut and massage. I was shocked; it was such a respectable establishment and I teach the owner’s son. I’m wondering if the father knows but if I do, a mere waygukin, he must certainly know. And does his wife know? Well, I won’t be getting my haircut in there again. I’m not opposed to a wanking service but in the basement or another room, not in the barbers.

 

one pole seems ambiguous, two are definitely more suspect

I’ve never really understood the validity of the barber’s pole as a sign for a brothel though it is apparently the case that such establishments are identified by two poles spinning in opposite directions. However, even my Korean friends are uncertain about  the exact meaning of such poles.

I’ve occasionally heard rumours about the availability of wanks in bathhouses, only ever in a heterosexual context and have never personally witnessed anything remotely sexual. I wonder how much they charge to watch?

Further updates on the brothelization of my favourite bathhouse

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© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.

 

 

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