Because a Thrashing Always Improves Grades…
Jack’s thrashed palm
One of my students didn’t do well in his Korean language exams and so his teacher, a woman, gave him five thrashes across his palm with a large stick. Jack is a friendly student with a mild manner and despite not being the quickest academically, he always tries hard. I’m not against the stick but I am against using it either excessively or for punishing students because they didn’t perform well.
bruises can clearly be seen at the base of his thumb and left-center palm
I suppose he was quite proud of his bruises and told me that though he didn’t cry, it hurt so much afterwards he had to go to the nurse’s office for some ice. I am aware how situations and events can be wrongly reported by students but part of me wants to confront teachers who so viciously beat kids simply because they did not do well in an exam. Meanwhile, plenty of other punishments exist for ‘naughty’ students.
Students in my school being punished for lack of homework
First and second year high school students being punished en-masse. I would imagine this punishment particularly painful
A high school student waiting to be beaten. I’ve seen teachers in this school use golf clubs for this purpose
Two of the most common forms of punishment
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
Bathhouses and Jjimilbang in Ulsan
Ulsan Bathhouses and Jjimjilbang
I stumbled across a review of some establishments in Ulsan and for anyone interested they can be found here.
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
When Weird is Normal – Traditional ‘Beggar Singers’
Podcast 86
Experience has taught me to avoid them like the plague. Traditional singers (각설이 or 품바), sometimes known as ‘beggar singers’ are often seen in festivals, towns or cities; sometimes they appear in a troop, as a sort of band and at other times as individuals pushing a kind of decorated cart.
the ‘band’ in action
The ‘bands,’ for lack of a better term, consist of a central character, always bizarrely dressed, supported by others who take part in the comedy and play the various percussion instruments which accompany singer and prerecorded support. This type of entertainment is popular at various types of festival.
The individual performers are also common at festivals but are often seen in towns. They usually push a barrow which carries various props, an audio system, sometimes even a computer and screen capable of playing karaoke and sell traditional pumpkin toffee, hoa-bak yeot (호박엿).
kak-sor-i
Why do I steer clear of them? My first encounter was on the streets of Daegu only a few weeks after arriving in Korea. It was a hot afternoon in September and I was on my way to work. Attracted by the strange singing and the even stranger apparel of a man who looked like Boy George in the early stages of his career; when he prettied his face and wore farmer’s milking smocks, I stopped to watch. A big mistake! Nothing aids a kak-sor-i’s performance more than the presence of a naive and uncomprehending waeg. I had no idea what he was saying into his portable microphone but suddenly the small crowd were starring in my direction, and laughing! Next moment, he grabs my arm and coaxes me into performing a ridiculous dance in the center of the crowd. Eleven years later, and the recollection still makes me cringe. His dance was similar to something that you might have performed around a Native American Indians fire, with a tomahawk, except I was carrying a briefcase and can remember swinging it wildly as I copied him. At the time, I didn’t feel a prat and simply thought I was responding in the correct manner. Perhaps the heat induced a temporary insanity or maybe it was the hypnotic rhythm he struck on his strange drum with which he accompanied his tinny ‘music box’ and weird wailing. Luckily, a friend pulled me back into the crowd and with a surprised and embarrassed look on her face, asked me what the hell I was doing. And she was Korean!
Boy George and his milking smock
Several months later, I saw a troop performing at a festival on the beach in Pohang and kept a respectful distance. On this occasion, the lead singer had something rather large dangling down the inside leg of his baggy pants and to the amusement of the children seated in the front, he frequently lunged his hips and what appeared like a hefty boner sprung forward.
It’s difficult interpreting how these artists are perceived by Koreans because for a westerner they verge on the obscene and bizarre. Often there is an element of cross dressing, both from male-female and female-male; the content is often mildly sexual with sprung activated codpieces down the pants, simulated stripping, flashing knickers or underwear and sometimes traits of campness. Kak-sor-i ‘drag down‘ rather than ‘up’ until everything becomes rustic, lopsided and the people a bit pumpkin. Verging on the grotesque, it is the antithesis of British drag. Whenever I see a troop of performers I am reminded both of the freakish scenes from Fellini’s Satyricon and Jackie Stallone and somewhere between the two lurks Michael Jackson.
a kak-sor-i performer
Fellini’s freaky Satyricon
Jackie Stallone – truly freaky
I don’t have a zoom lens. They don’t make them for my cheapo camera so capturing a photograph of a performer can’t be achieved at a distance. Getting too close brings back bad memories and also, I’m culturally confused. A few weekends ago, I happened to see a kak-sor-i at a traditional wrestling festival in Daegu. He was on the edge of the festivities and with his barrow atop of which sat his music system and bags of pumpkin toffee, he was giving a half hearted rendition of some an old fox-trot song (트로트), almost apologetically and as if he shouldn’t have been there.
As far as such performers go, this one was slightly more cross-dresser than some and though it might not be politically correct to say so, if I saw him performing on a London street, I’d probably consider him a freak and steer clear. I see nothing threatening in transsexuals or transvestites because I usually know into which category such individuals fall; a transsexual would do a much better job looking female and a transvestite would parody female characteristics and associations to the max. Neither would wear fishnets with a pair of socks and trainers. Unable to read the character, I’m confused and on British streets this would attract the label of ‘possible freak’ and cause me to avoid them. Kak-sor-i don’t seem to bother hiding their sex and this one is clearly male but his hair is all wrong, his sequined shorts, or is it a skirt? too ambiguous, and what’s with the blobs of intense rouge on his cheeks? The rouge is the freakiest part of his appearance because no self respecting trans-person would ever mock their face in such a clown-like manner. Further, his movement is male and there is nothing camp about him in mannerism and rather than performing songs by Barbara Striesand or Kylie Minogue, he is warbling to some typical Korean trot.
not yet spotted…
I sit down at a distance and casually take out my camera. I’m thinking I can perhaps get a few shots while his back is turned but I really want a full frontal. Eventually, I catch his eye and before he has consented I click a few off. He’d previously been singing with intermittent announcements advertising his pumpkin toffee, at 2000 Won a bag. Suddenly, he starts talking about me, I can pick out the words ‘waygukin,’ meaning ‘foreigner’ and my cheeks start turning red. Not sure how Koreans read this character, I’m concerned if they see it as anyway perverse, or what Koreans term ‘pyontae’ (변태 – abnormal), they will likewise think I am for wanting to photograph him. Once I’ve got my photos I am polite and go up and buy some toffee and all the time I know he is talking about me. He tries telling me it’s 20.000 Won a bag but I know it isn’t and hand him 2000. Then I leave as quickly as possible.
See! He’s talking about me…
I now sense from discussions about performers, that they are not perceived as ‘strange’ (변태) and their costumes and make-up cast no dispersions on their sexuality, gender or mental state. Indeed, Koreans probably view even the most extreme kak-sor-i as more normal than they would some western celebrities whose’ freakishness’ goes beyond the cosmetic and transitory to pervade their entire persona. I am told kak-sor-i are no more the character they are wearing, than the actors in a drama or movie. However, my fear still lingers because without the ability to communicate effectively, I’m at their mercy. And once bitten, twice shy!
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
Su-Mok-Won Saeng Hwal On-Ch’eon (수목원 생활온천)
생활 - 'life, living'
Rating – Luxury
(First visited on 10th June 2011. Last visited on 24th of September 2011) Saeng Hwal instantly became one of my favourite establishments. This is a large complex with numerous facilities though there is no jjimjilbang (찜질방). The reception area on the ground floor is like that of a grand hotel and is large and spacious with sofas and television for relaxation. Grouped around here are numerous shops, manicure, body shop etc, and a pine wood, traditional style café.
Shoes are removed in the reception area, the number for your shoe locker is on your ticket and the key in the shoe locker is the same number for your locker in the changing area. From reception you proceed to your respective areas, women floor 2 and men floor 3.
The men’s changing room is very spacious with sofas and television, the usual snacks and accessories such as ties, socks and toiletries. The fee here is the most expensive I’ve paid, at 6000 Won (£3) but shampoo and shaving foam, as well as the usual toothpaste and soap, are provided in the showering areas. Though there are only around 10 stand up showers, there are 54 sit-down units traversing the left hand wall beyond which is a fairly large jade, ondol (under floor heated) sleeping area with pine walls and wooden head rests (목짐). Beyond this is the no-ch’eon (노천) area which is exposed to outside temperatures.
The Saeng Hwal complex
Traversing the right hand side of the bathing complex are various facilities, a powerful cold shower, a long, two channeled foot bath, each a different temperature. This long, open fronted room has a TV screen at the far end. There then follow a steam room and a dry, pine sauna. The steam sauna was hotter than I usually experience and there were stone benches with a central cold water gully in which to put your feet. TV access was through the central window to the pine sauna. Both saunas were large and lit with subdued lighting.
The massage pooling looking towards the no-ch'eon room
Beyond the saunas lay a decent size cold pool (냉탕) with high Japanese style water-outlet under which you can stand. The head of the bathing complex has a very large massage pool (안마탕) with 8 different types of massage and around 30 individual stations. The pool is interestingly designed and curves around, removing the harshness of angular edges. This format is utilized in some of the central pools and it is interesting to note, stands in direct contrast to the design of the nearby Na-Seong Hawaii. Both establishments are fairly new and whether the opposing features of one bathhouse were transposed into the other, I don’t know but despite their polarised differences, each has its own balance and individual atmosphere.
the roof garden (pool for children open only in summer)
As you enter the bathing complex, a large cold water bath, from which you dash your body with cold water from a small basin, stands in front of you. Beyond this a large warm pool (온탕) with cypress wood borders. One of the unfortunate aspects of Saeng Hwal, is the pool ledges are made from a rough granite and though you will not slip on it, it doesn’t do your buttocks any good to swivel! A central TV screen sits in the pool area, as does one in the massage pool. Towards the head of the bathing area, at the far end of the warm pool and on the right, is a semicircular hot pool (열탕). It is fairly small and could fit perhaps three westerners or six Koreans, not because westerners are larger, but because Koreans are not uncomfortable sitting close to each other. Curving around the top edge of this is a lukewarm bath (미온탕).
a rather interesting herb shop directly next door
There is one area left to describe. In the far left corner, tucked between the far side of the jade sleeping floor, and the left hand side of the massage pool, is no-ch’eon (노천). However, like the no-ch’eon at Wonderful Spa Land and Na Seong Hawaii, it isn’t a proper no-ch’eon, but one exposed to the outside temperature. Real no-ch’eon, found in hot spring resorts, are outside. The Saeng Hwal no-ch’eon however, gave me a real buzz on my first visit when it was empty. To stop heat loss, the entrance is via two doors and inside, volcanic black rock form the lower walls and floor into which two natural hot spring baths are contained. The walls are pine wood or cypress as is a very small sleeping area and a central walk way. Here, in the absence of a TV, you can find real relaxation. There are even some real plants growing in one corner.
large rectangular warm pool, semi-circular hot pool and the lukewarm pool.
I once sat in a real no-ch’eon on my birthday, 30th of December, at something like 4 am in the morning in freezing cold temperatures in a snow storm. I was on a small island on the west coast and the sea water bathhouse was the edge of the sea and with the privacy, it meant you were able to stand up on lean on the wall, and look out at the numerous small islands dotted about. I would imagine that as summer kicks in and the humidity rises, it will possibly be more comfortable in the bathhouse than in the no-ch’eon but I am unsure. Taking opportunity of the recent cool weather, I decided to visit Saeng Hwal at 11 pm. It is quite strange bathing in a pool that is still a little busy, and where kids are still playing, at not far short of midnight. I ended up sat in one of the hot no-ch’eon pools talking to a 22-year-old lad who is about to go into the army. I transpires he is the bathhouse owner’s grandson and after chatting for half an hour or so, he disappears in order to get me some complimentary tickets. I was rather hot and sat on one of the cypress wood benches which are dotted around the bathhouse and which are a welcome luxury from the usual white plastic bathhouse furniture. The lighting is perfect lit by one subdued ceiling lamp and one between the plants on the ground. The cool evening air drifted through the enormous slated windows and was quite a fabulous sensation. I think if the building captures the breeze in such a manner throughout the year, the no-ch’eon might be quite refreshing on a balmy summer evening.
the reception area
Are there any downsides? Well, Saeng Hwal lacks the olfactory orgasm of Wonderful Spa Land and its incredible aromas, and it’s a little short on saunas, with only two, but the no-ch’eon is an experience and the bathhouse has a very relaxing atmosphere.
Getting there – (Wiki Map link ) (Google Map link). On the 604, Dalseo 1 and Dalseo 4, bus routes. A short distance, perhaps 15 minutes, from Jinch’eon (진청) subway. Taxi from Song-So Lotte Cinema Complex around 5000 Won.
Daegook and Chin-ch'eon subways (circled L-R) with 'X' marking Saeng Hwal. The green dot to the right is nearby Na-Seong Hawaii Sauna
The distance between sauna is a few minutes and indeed you can see one from the other
Times – 24 hour for the bathhouse.
Facilities – parking, fitness, climbing wall, basement ‘chambers,’ health related shops, traditional style café.
Bathhouse (men) – 12 stand up showers and 54 sit down units. A large and deep warm pool (온탕) with cypress wood sides, hot pool (열탕) and lukewarm bath (미온탕), cold pool (냉탕), and a large massage pool. Pine sauna and steam sauna and jade sleeping floor. Enclosed are exposed to the outside temperature (노천) with two hot spring pools. A separate foot bath.
Cost – 6000 Won (bathhouse)
Others
B1 – 불가마 – kiln rooms yellow earth sauna (황토방). Oriental medicine chamber, Loess chamber, snow room, DVD room, snack room, Korean food bar and internet corner.
1st Floor – reception, shoe shine, beauty shop, nail and manicure, body shop, sofas, TV and relaxation area.
2nd Floor – Women’s sauna
3rd Floor – Men’s sauna
4th Floor – climbing wall, aerobics, weight training, fitness room
5th Floor – roof garden, children’s pool (summer), general relaxation (노천)
Various interesting shops in the immediate vicinity including a large coffee shop and a very attractive shop, the ‘Herb Store.’
reception and information
Ambiance – very relaxing.
Waygukin – one so far (not friendly)
Address – 대구광역시 달서구 진천동 446 (Google map link) Tel: 053-641-0100
Website – www.lifespa.kr
Layout (coming)
Updates
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
Bathhouse Basics – The No-ch’eon (노천)
a wintry mountain no-ch'eon (노천)
No-ch’eon are one of my favourite types of facility though my experience of the proper type is limited. A real no-ch’eon is a bathing facility fully exposed to the elements and often using a hot spring as a source of water. They are rural and located in scenic settings and though some are male and female together, and require bathing costumes, others involve being au naturel. Usually, no-ch’eon are an external part of a bathhouse or a jjimjilbang so if it is part of the jjimjilbang it will require a costume, and if part of a bathhouse, you go naked.
winter, snow and ice bring an added dimension to the no-ch'eon
I doubt there's any poolside sleeping here
I first experienced a real no-ch’eon in the winter of 2007, while staying in a small island off the west coast. We visited a sea-water bathhouse on several occasion, one of them being 3 am in the morning and from the bathhouse you could go outside and enjoy either a hot or cold pool. Sitting in a hot pool in mid December during a snow storm at 4 am in the morning was an awesome experience and all that was missing was the makalli or champagne.
The appeal of the no-ch’eon is the combination of the elements, scenic settings and nature and to this purpose the ‘furniture’ can only be but natural. You can expect to see plenty of cypress pine (hinokki) with even the water vents being made of wood. I don’t yet know the name for these but they are a fairly common feature in bathhouses. Hot spring water, a natural source, is commonly used and coastal no-ch’eon will use sea-water.
does anyone know the name or origin of these?
this no-ch'eon (enclosed), is at Na Seong Hawaii, Daegu
For an experience predominantly governed by the whims of the weather, the partially enclosed no-ch’eon falls way short of the real thing however, they too, can be very enjoyable when a cool, or cold wind drifts across your skin. These no-ch’eon tend to have large, milky-glassed windows or even sliding doors beyond which probably lays slatted wooden panels. Usually built on the corner of the building, they are ideal for trapping and directing any breeze.
wish I was there
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
Just (그냥) Interesting
If you mistakenly type the Korean for ‘alive, living’ (생) in English rather than Korean (tod), you end up with the German for ‘death.’
Cheong-cha (정자), is both and ‘arbor’ and ‘sperm.’
chilling
probably more than you - but perfect English!
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
Beating Boknal (복날) 1. My Wooden Wife (죽부인)
Who needs this? (Joo-Hee Kim, Miss Korea 2006)
When you can have this!
(Originally published August 5th 2010) I’ve just got myself a ‘wife.’ Rather than travel to the Philippines or Thailand, and spend a fortune on one who might be mouthy, problematic, dump me the moment she has a British passport or demand too much, this one was bought at my local E-Mart at the amazingly cheap price of 9500 Won (£5). I didn’t have to pay a pimp for acting as middle-man and she even came in a bag.
She is incredibly skinny and all ribs but being mute and pretty lifeless, I neither have to suffer nagging and can easily boot her out of my bed should she fail to please. And though I know it’s a bit misogynistic, the bits I don’t like are missing. The down side? She is fucking lazy. I left her on the bed this morning and she is still laying there eight hours later.
Cool sleeping
Unlike real wives who are apt to raise your temperature in more ways than one, my new Wooden Wife, lowers my temperature and reduces my stress levels. In Korea, she is known as a chuk-bu-in (죽부인) and is used as the traditional method of keeping cool on hot and humid evenings, especially during the hottest time of year (boknal – 복날)).
My wife about to undress and go to bed
Made of bamboo, the wooden-wife is used to drape your leg or limbs over, to sort of cuddle, and in doing so body heat trapped between limbs and torso is reduced. Using the wooden-wife allows air to circulate around the body. Last night, I spent my first evening with her in my bed and I must say, it was cooler than sleeping alone and definitely cooler than sleeping with a real human – if not somewhat more boring.
making a wooden wife (죽부인) Often called a 'wooden lady.'
The bamboo is very smooth and there are no rough edges. I also noticed that the bamboo is much cooler to touch as it doesn’t retain heat so with my air conditioner blowing down onto it, it even felt a little chilled.
Wooden-wives come in children and adult sizes and are also made in different colours. Though usually made of bamboo, other materials can be used. You can also buy attractive covers for bamboo chuk-bu-in.
Making wooden-wives
Wife on bed - waiting patiently
You get the gist...
UPDATE JULY 30 2011
She is absolutely fantastic in hot weather and I couldn’t do without her. I’ve been sleeping on and off with her for the last year though when the weather cooled last year, I kicked her down the side of the bed, between bed and wall, and that’s where she lay most of the winter. I’ve recently stuck one of those hooks on the wall and that’s where I put her when she’s not needed. Hanging about where she is, she’s within easy reach but during the summer she’s constantly on my bed. I cannot stress how fantastic wooden-wives are and mine has become a crucial item throughout hot summers.
© Nick Elwood 2010. This work is licenced under a Creative Commons Licence.
Ken Kane – Pen Portrait
Denis Jones (left) and Ken Kane
Service – 1973-1982???? Went to KH around 1979 or possibly 1980. Became Bandmaster of 17/21st Lancers around 1982.
Instrument – trumpet, trombone, bass guitar
Final Rank – Warrant Officer First Class.
Family – Unknown
Current Location – apparently, Ken was a music teacher for 20 years at the Royal Military School in Dover. He retired in 2009.
As a naive 17 year old, I quite feared Ken Kane. Up until moving to Catterick in the 1970’s, I had little to do with him but in Cambrai Barracks he was a ‘living-in’ NCO and responsible for the singlies accommodation and his rule was firm. I suppose Ken, who was around ten years my senior, was a little old school and he didn’t suffer fools lightly. He was the type to look under your bed or run his finger over a ledge you hadn’t considered cleaning and his reproach quite stung.
Brian Blake, Ken Kane, Paul Kinley, George Thompson (L-R)
As strict as he was I had immense respect for him which lasted throughout my service. He was an brilliant sportsmen talented at numerous games and a BFT never phased him. Musically, he was very gifted, playing the trumpet, trombone, bass guitar and I have a suspicion he played more.
He became Trumpet Major at some stage, and was certainly so in the early days of Osnabrück when all bandsmen were required to blow that ghastly instrument. Even as a trumpet player, at which I was crap, any skill or potential ability on the cavalry trumpet eluded me. Ken was equally as strict as a TM and I can remember he would run us through a series of exercises and then listen to our calls, individually. In the four years I was required to practice the cavalry trumpet, I was only ever a supernumerary.
Sometime after our arrival in Osnabrück (c 1977), Mick Henderson released woodwind players from trumpeting but by then he had negotiated a restriction in duties and the only calls regularly made were Guard Mount, Last Post and the occasional calls required by RHQ. At Kneller Hall, I remember trumpet calls dominated everything from Last-Post to ‘smoke break.’
John McAvoy, ‘Bones,’ AJ Scott, Dave Seeley, Ken Kane (L-R) Cyprus c 1974
In 1979, Ken, Dave Smith and I were at KH, Ken as a Student Bandmaster and Dave and I as pupils. I can’t remember too much about him as he was sectioned with another company and after my leaving KH. in January 1981, only saw him on a few occasions. Every now and then I’ll do a Google search but like AJ, he seems to have disappeared and I’ve not spoken to anyone who has heard from him. Perhaps Bones has some knowledge as their wives were close friends.
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
Further references:
Images of Innocence (6) Annie
Annie, one of my students, is about to go to high school. She often finishes her evening studies at a study room (돗서실), at 1 or 2 am after which she walks home. Feeling unsafe, she has recently bought a whistle. I wouldn’t want to underplay the fears of Korean kids walking home late at night but the streets are far safer than in even the smallest UK towns. I wouldn’t let an unaccompanied girl, or boy, into town on any evening of the week back in the UK and only an idiot parent would allow someone her age to be in town past 10 pm. You can read about my experiences of British streets in Scumland UK. Needless to say, even I feel unsafe on a British street at anything past 7 pm after which they rapidly degenerate.
It’s difficult explaining to those who have never experienced Korean life, how crucial and central education is in the Korean mindset. Streets are buzzing with students going from one place of study to another on everyday of the week, from the early hours until past midnight. Several years ago, the government made it illegal for private academies to teach students past 10 pm but it has changed little. Many schools still seem to operate and parents can always employ a tutor who can visit the home or have the student come to them. Wherever you are in Korea, ‘education’ in one form or another, is always apparent.
A Korean study room
A multitude of schools exists teaching every subject: maths, social studies, English, Chinese, hanja, art; there are schools of music, taekwondo, kendo, hapkido, ballroom dancing, ballet; study rooms and places that offer student support. And all the time brightly coloured mini buses are ferrying kids between their homes and schools. Yes, there are flaws with the Korean system; kids sleep at their desk, they often look drained, they suffer stress and constantly face a barrage of exams by which they are ranked. There are many things I would change about the Korean system but, for all its flaws it is more effective than British education where around 50% of students don’t even achieve 5 A-C grades in core subjects. And I would argue that while British education largely provides kids a holiday in comparison with their Korean peers, it is British teachers who are stressed and abused. Korean teachers have their problems, but having to constantly battle bad students and worse, anti-intellectual attitudes, which are ingrained in British society, isn’t one of them.
Unlike Britain and the USA, there is a consensus in Korea about the importance of education and whether you are the lowest paid worker or a company CEO, the goals and expectations for your children, in terms of learning, are the same; good grades and entry to a good university. I have one friend in the UK who came from one of the worst housing estates in the country. When he gained a place at university in the 1970’s, his family disowned him. Education in the UK, and attitudes towards it are still influenced and articulated by class.
Yes, I know all about the flaws of Korean education, but I’ve also taught main stream in the UK for over ten years and it was a hideous experience. Every class in the UK is polluted by a couple of scum students, bred and conditioned by scum parents and their effect on the learning process has been catastrophic. (see, Scenes From the Battleground) Unless you are lucky enough to be in a top set or selective school, most British classrooms and schools have geared themselves to accommodate the scum and it is the decent kids, the majority, who suffer. Anyway, was I ranting???
Over to Annie…
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
Exposing Those Seedy Searches
There are plenty of degenerates trawling around the internet looking for ‘interesting’ tid-bits. Sometimes I’m one of them but I’m not degenerate, my interests are cultural and academic – honestly! The great thing about WordPress, is the access to a large amount of statistical data and this was certainly absent from Blogger a few years ago and which prompted me to switch platforms. Every now and then I look at the ‘search terms’ people have used to access Bathhouse Ballads and it’s depressing; because I’ve written about ‘girls knickers’, ‘penises‘, ‘skinship,’ ‘circumcision,’ ‘corporal punishment,’ ‘showering,’ ‘shitting,‘ ‘pissing,’ ‘teenagers,’plus the mention of ‘sex,’ ‘gays,’ and lots of stuff on ‘bathhouses,’ many search terms are from those looking for something seedy. And all mixed together, the permutations are extensive, I’m attracting some weird searches.
Here are my favourites:
Chillies on his willy – rather a bizarre search term but why not go the whole hog with chillies that look like willies.
click photo for link to relevant post
Boys stripped to the waist – clearly a frustrated waeg! Go to the bathhouse and you can see them naked! Actually, better still, have a wank!
Girl’s Knickers – interestingly, the only word I don’t think I’ve ever written in this blog is, ‘vagina.’ So, girl’s knickers? Like used, unused, soiled? And by ‘knickers’ I guess you mean the shapeless baggy things as opposed panties or the Devil’s Panty – ie a thong.
Dirty Gays – now is this an opinion or do you mean gay people with dirty hands?
Bathhouse Ballards – I actually have 16 entries with this spelling.
Boy flesh – Look at Jay Park and have a wank!
Bathhouse squirt – another bizarre entry. Is this a small person or does it refer to some strange practice?
Little kids nude skinship – you can find all you need under 변태 성욕.
Jimjjilbang Penis – well, you’d be much better searching for this in Korean rather than badly spelt English (jjimjilbang).
Korean kid saw me poop – please tell me it didn’t arouse you? Actually, I used to know a boy who used to invite you into his house to watch him shite? He was very sexy but watching someone crap is not just a freaking turn off, but puts you off your food!
Little man cok poto – clearly from a Korean which is ‘pine.’
cute yes, but sexy, no!
And my favourite…
Water forced up arse in spa – yes, you need to take a trip to Wonderful Spa Land, Wolbae in Daegu. They have an amazing set of massage stations one of which you sit over and it lifts you up. If you hold onto the sides and pull yourself down you can manipulate the jet to provide a very intimate probing. My Korean friend and I had quite a laugh doing this and the interesting thing was, that he had never previously thought to pull himself down onto it. Mind you, he’s getting regular sex so he’s clearly satisfied. Wonderful Spaland also has 4 excellent chest massage water jets but you’d have to mount these or bend over in front of them, which might attractive some attention. These will certainly provide a deep aqua invasion and you’ll probably need to expel your intake on the toilet immediately after. Good luck!
Interestingly, Hieronymus Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights, is a popular search term especially considering this painting depicts all forms of human vice and ‘perversion.’
© 林東哲 2011 Creative Commons Licence.
Elwood 5566 
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